Negative

My boobs got huge this time.
I was exhausted all week.
I was peeing more than usual.
The signs were so clear that despite the fact that I was trying to be
measured, calm, present,
I became so very hopeful, optimistic, and convinced
that THIS time I was really, truly pregnant,
that I began tracking my symptoms daily.

On Friday night, 11 DPO, the night before testing,
I had a dream.  I dreamt that it was morning, and I peed on the stick.
It was positive.
As soon as I saw those two bright pink lines,
I received a photo from my best friend via text.
It was a picture of her with a pregnancy test in her mouth.
She wrote, "I'm taking the test now!"
Moments later, she wrote, "it's positive!"
I had no idea she was even trying (she's not, in real life).
But I was overwhelmed with excitement.  We were both pregnant!
We had the same due date!

And then I woke up, and it was 12 DPO, so I took the test.
S joined me in the bathroom.
And we stared, and stared, and willed the pink line to show up.
For a full five minutes we waited.  And then we looked at each other with disappointment.
I took the test, put it back in it's wrapper, and took it to the trash.   
I crawled back into bed, completely numb.