A blood test this morning and voicemail from our primary doctor this afternoon confirmed it. I am actually, really, truly, finally, PREGNANT. Somewhere inside my uterus, there is a little mass of cells rapidly dividing and reproducing and creating the foundational components of what will eventually become our baby. I'm still in awe.
A week ago today, I took a home pregnancy test early in the morning. Within seconds of peeing on the stick, S took a look at the darkening pink lines and exclaimed, "uh, babe... you're pregnant." I picked up the stick, and stared at it closely. We looked at each other with wide eyes, in shock and disbelief. We jumped around the bathroom. "Oh my god! Oh my god!" said S. "What do we do now, go to work?!"
It's funny. I was receiving a lot of signs and signals that the time had finally arrived in the week before I took the test. I knew there was a good chance that I was pregnant. It just felt different this time. But the confusing symptoms that came along with the first three IUIs left me in a place of distrust. I didn't want to believe that the signs my body and the universe were giving me were real. I was afraid to be wrong again.
The doctor said my HCG levels were "pretty high already," which was "excellent." She asked me to return for another blood test on Thursday to confirm that this is a "normal pregnancy" (and not an ectopic pregnancy or one that will lead to miscarriage). I am happy, excited, and mildly nervous. But mostly, I feel calm. I feel ready. The time is right. I am ready to welcome our baby into our lives.
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