Entering the Third Trimester

A week has passed since the "superstorm" ravaged many areas of our city.  A long week.  While we have continually been giving thanks for our many blessings (housing, warmth, food, water, health, safe family and friends), it has been a time of intense reflection and bearing witness to the suffering of our neighbors.  A week of feeling angry and frustrated in the face of enormous economic and racial inequity.  A week of feeling heartbroken and sick when hearing about the injustices and inefficiencies propagated by our local governments and multinational corporations.  A week of feeling mostly helpless and trying to find small inroads into communities and networks from which we are ultimately so disconnected.  While I have been inspired by the remarkable grassroots efforts to support the recovery of the most devastated neighborhoods, no donation made or number of cans collected or volunteer shift served seems like enough.  In many ways I felt paralyzed and wasn't able to figure out how or where to meaningfully contribute to or participate in physical relief efforts while pregnant and without access to transportation.  So I mostly turned my focus inwards.

With unplanned time away from our jobs, S and I used last week to work on some of the household preparations for our little one that we had been hoping to get done during our limited weekend time; building storage closets, cleaning, sorting out and getting rid of clutter, planning and making the decor for the nursery corner of our bedroom.  We were able to find the space and time to connect with each other; to rest and relax and heal from the exhaustion, burnout and routine of our typically busy day-to-day lives.  We hosted a little brunch at our home over the weekend and enjoyed quality time with our queer neighbors.

We were unexpectedly "nesting" during the very week we began the third trimester of our pregnancy (28 weeks and counting...!)  As a result, my stress and anxiety about getting everything done before the little one arrives has significantly subsided; I feel SO much better and more prepared to manage the rest of this pregnancy.  I feel well-rested.  I've been trying to trust that this week was a gift of time that was okay for me to receive.  And yet heart still aches for those from whom time was the very least of what was ripped away.