Foraging

I’ve been running around like a squirrel as of late. Foraging for food, digging around in drawers and cabinets, opening and closing the fridge, racking my brain to find some kind of sustenance every couple of hours that I can not only stomach, but will maybe even help to alleviate my nausea for a while. It has only been two weeks of trying to manage this persistent unease in my belly, but it has felt like an eternity.

More than anything, it makes me feel kind of emotionally unwell. I’m desperate and anxious throughout the day. I’m having a hard time focusing on anything except what my next snack or meal will be. I wake up in the morning hungry and in fear of the next bout of nausea. I run home after work wanting nothing more than to go to bed for the night to forget about the queasiness. The noxious smells of old banana peel in my trash can, someone’s lunch as they walk by my desk, or the (normally scrumptious) aromas from a nearby food truck sends me spiraling into a panic. I’m holding my breath to avoid everyday smells, avoiding even thinking about any kind of food product, and eating more dry, plain carbs (crackers, cereal) than I can handle.

I’m at 7 weeks today and am hoping and praying that the “it gets better after the first trimester” theory actually pans out.